You Got Some Nargles in Your Head
by Novus Ars
Summary: What if Harry has to take care of the his older, younger relatives? What if they happens to be an over protective Gundam Pilots? AU
1. Chapter 1

Rated T so you know ^_^

Chapter One:

Pairings.... I'll let you find out. I will say that there are both homosexual and heterosexual pairings. And not all of the Gundam Pilots are going to be in a Homosexual relationship. Don't worry Relena is not in the story in any major way. (shudder... she is not paired with any of the gundam pilots.. she can go hug that teddy bear from Heero in a corner.)

Warning: This is the first time I tried to write homosexual pairings. Tell me how I do when we get to it.

Set after both the magical and Gundam(Endless Waltz) wars. This isn't the top of my stories to work on. It is simply for when I can't write my far more serious stories. This is supposed to be rather silly but there is a number of plot lines... well you'll see. Last there will be Dumbledore, Ron, and Ginny bashing.. most likely we'll see. Also the wizarding war happens differently. People die that didn't die. People live that didn't live etc. etc. Last warning... it has been years since I have actually watched this anime. I am starting to read the manga but there may be some inconsistencies. Do tell me if that occurs and you want it fixed. Otherwise know that this is considered AU, for obvious reasons. Enjoy. ^_^

"I'm telling you its this way!" Came a cry of frustration, startling awake the procrastinating preventer guard.

"The narffles are swarming that hallway." Answered a far too casual voice. What were narffles anyways?

"I must digress that we can't go down a hallway with narffles." Remarked an almost aristocratic voice.

"Do you even know what digress means?" Bit the original frustrated voice.

"Of course I do...Oh look I rather think the blood drawing labs are down this hall."

A loud sigh was followed with the response of, "And what makes you think that?"

"I like this hallway."

"Yes theres no narffles floating down it."

"Merlin why did I invite them to come along again?"

"Because you love me." answered the narffle obsessed voice.

....

"What's your excuse?"

"I was bored." Came the happily crazed response from the aristocratic voice as the three voices faded down the hallway leading away from the blood drawing labs.

The Preventer shivered before returning to his duty properly. He pitied the fools in the blood labs today.

AUAU

The dingy walls stank of mold as the five preventers silently moved down the dank hallway towards the area of the reported escape route of their unknown. Five pairs of hands gripped various beretta pistols all locked with silencers. Tonight was a night for discretion after all. The faint ding, ding, ding sound of dripping water and quiet scratchings of rodents was all that was heard as they reached the slightly ajar door. A pause and the one across from the opening of the door pushed said door open with the end of his silencer. The five stiffened as the door moved but luckily no squeal of ill-oiled hinges revealed their presence to the unknown target.

They were pursuing an unknown dangerous criminal who they only knew had raped and murdered a pair of twins that very morning. They would have investigated said unknown except the unknown had already claimed another victim, another little girl. There was no time for investigations. They had been sent to Paris on forced leave and since they were there they had gotten their much desired active duty back, to the annoyance of Lady Une. The five had only been on vacation for three days after all.

The preventer who had pushed the door open silently signaled to the one across from him. That one moved sharply into the doorway in a crouch, a long braid of hair snapping out like a demented cats tail. The braided preventer made quickly for the right as the preventer that had signaled him to move shot silently to the left. The next two Preventers swept through at the silent signal from both investigating comrades. These two made cursory sweeps of the cleared room before heading to the only exit. The last preventer followed, making half circles with his back facing his comrades, protecting their escape rotate and backs.

The five soldiers proceeded through four more rooms in similar fashion before they came to a entry that had more than the faint light of the moon gleaming through its crack. The golden, flickering glow of a candle shined off the messy haired, lead preventer. Muscles tightened under formfitting uniforms and almost as one, the five swept in to take out the unknown.

The smallest of the preventers automatically dived out of the way of a red flashing beam, uncannily similar to one of the laser cannons of some of their gundams. The others quickly found cover. The unknown sneered at them as he stood behind an alter, long blond locks splattered with the dead girls blood. They had been too late.

Three other unknowns, from which the beams had come from, glared at them imposingly with polished sticks pointed at them of all things. "Take care of the muggles. This is almost complete." Ordered the original unknown.

"01?" Asked the braided preventer through his radio head set.

"02 and 04 take out the right. 03 and 05 take out the left. I'll go for the middle immediately after."

Various versions of yes resounded through the radio and a moment later the five preventers came out, bullets flying.

AUAU

In England a group of odd teens sat in a cafe happily sipping their afternoon caffeine filled drinks. "These are rather nifty." Remarked the blond, silver eyed dreamer of the group.

"Their mobiles." Sighed a bushy haired teen. "What is so 'nifty' about them?" Her hands rose to give the quotation mark sign as she said nifty.

Her own cell rang immediately after. With a practiced flick her flip phone clicked open, "Hello, Hermione Granger Speaking."

"For one you can call people right next to you and they'll reply." Explained the only male of the group as he spoke into his own, more expensive phone, to Hermione's.

Hermione's eye twitched. "Harry don't call me unless we can't talk to each other face to face."

The aristocratic young man pouted as he pushed his silver framed, oval glasses up his nose with his middle and index fingers. "Then why, pray tell, was the point of us getting our own phones? We can easily use yours."

"I rather like the shivels that have started nests in yours." added the blond as she sipped her espresso.

"I am not going to continue being your two's secretary!" Cried Hermione as she ignored her fellow female's remark.

"But your so good at it." Sighed Harry. "Do you not agree Luna?"

"No."

Green eyes blinked in surprise at the disagreement before the young man shrugged away the thought. "Anyways I prefer not being disturbed on such minor oddities as window swipes."

"That was Mr. Weasley, heaven forbid him having a phone, but that wasn't even from your office so you can't complain."

Harry blinked at her lazily before looked up at the sky. "Then why was it part of my memos? He had to of been calling for you."

Hermione brushed a stray strand of hair out of her face. "I had no desire to explain the workings of window swipes to the man. And as I had just explained how a rubber ducky had no practical use, I figured you could do this one."

"Ah. Well its really too bad that I have to return this silly, pointless phone."

"I could trade with you Hermione. I do so love those shivels you have there." interrupted Luna as she pulled out a small gold fish from her jacket pocket and dropped the golden fish into her drink, making it turn a golden brown tone as the fish dissolved.

"Luna! Desist with the M A G I C! We are in a muggle area!" Hissed Hermione in horror as her eyes scanned for anyone that might of seen Luna.

"I am quiet capable of spelling." smiled Luna as she pulled her wand out and used it to stir her cup up properly.

"Muggles can spell quiet well also. I would have thought you of all people would know that Mione." Added Harry as he sipped his tea.

Hermione blushed before flashed Harry a glare. "Of course I know that! And why do you need to return your phone? Weren't you just agreeing with Luna that they were rather nifty?"

"Well yes. I had thought it nifty and perhaps rather handy to have but then you told me I couldn't use it unless I couldn't come talk to you face to face."

"That restriction does make them rather pointless." Luna agreed. "I mean who would get one of these things so that their work could contact them when they're not working?"

"It does appear to be the only reason you had convinced us to get them." Frowned Harry. "I don't want work bothering me at all times of the day!"

"I will not answer one more phone call from your businesses wanting to talk to either of you about some product placement problem or such! And you can still call friends and family! You won't be able to talk to me face to face every bleeding day!"

"But Mione." Whined Harry, dragging out his nickname for her. "We can just pop in anytime for a cup of tea. That makes it impossible for us to not be able to talk to you face to face whenever we need to."

"Then theres the floo." mussed Luna as she sniffed her drink curiously.

Hermione blushed. "Well.. well...." What was she spouse to say to that? They were two very powerful magic users. They had enough power to apparate between the larger countries in Europe, which was quiet a feat. "Just call me when it's appropriate timing to use the floo and when we aren't sitting by each other or.. or in the same area."

"Would area be as wide as England or as small as Diagon Alley?" asked Harry as he pulled out a note pad and began some random note taking. He carefully wrote out the title, underling it with a careful swipe of his ballpoint pen.

Mione's Laws of Mobile

Use for friends and family

do not call outside the polite hours of floo call, between 8 am and 9 pm

Do not call person when they are in the same room, area

Hermione felt her eye twitch again. "Diagon Alley." She gritted out as she watched Harry write down, ex: Diagon Alley, Cafe Table, for examples of the two restrictions. Sometimes she really, really wished the war hadn't turned out as it had.

Harry smiled widely up at her as he finished with the last rule.

4. Take good care of phone so that Shivels will choose it as a nesting ground

Oh how she wished.

AUAU

The stench of something rotting woke up the five preventers as they lay across the dingy floor of the room they had found the unknown they had been searching for. The faint sound of static from one of their radio's broke the silence as the five boys got into various sitting positions.

"Anyone see what ran over us?" groaned the braided preventer as he rubbed his aching head, his voice shaky.

"No." Was the helpful reply from his unibanged comrade.

"Why's your voices off so much?" The blond blinked in surprise. "Wait mine's off too."

One of the silent preventers snapped on a flash light, revealing the rather small forms of the five.

"Holy Shit!" Gapped the braided haired one. "YOU'VE ALL SHRANK!"

"Duo shut up." Came the sharp order from the Chinese boy.

"Hn."

The five sat silently staring at each other for no longer were they greeted with the faces of their twenty year old comrades and friends but with children. "This isn't good." Remarked the only blond of the group.

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	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Lady Une stared blandly at the five children sitting in front of her. "As you all are now children aga-"

"Midget." The braided haired boy interrupted. "We're not children. We are simply vertically challenged at this moment."

"You might want to remember that statement the next time you want to try and molest Heero." Grumbled Wufei as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. Getting stuck with the bed between the two was never fun and apparently them being four year olds didn't change that problem. Duo stuck his tongue out at the Chinese boy not at all ashamed of the statement even as the blond boy next to them blushed lightly.

"Maxwell, Chang enough." Ordered Lady Une sharply. The boys fell silent. "Now as I was saying... As you are children you are going to have to be sorted into either orphanages or the families that have been found through the Family Restoration Act. Of co-"

Again she was interrupted, though this time it was multiple boys crying out at once.

"Like Hell I'm going back to an orphanage!"

"They can stay with me at one of my sisters places or with Rashid."

"Enough. We have found family for Duo, Heero, and Trowa. Wufei will be allowed to stay with Quatra. I can pull strings for that but the others will be going to their families."

The five sat staring at her with perfectly blank expressions. They would not fight it but they were not happy. Lady Une sighed, "I will call Duo's family first." She pulled out a file. "You have only a half sister left alive. Your father and his wife were found amongst the dead from the unsolved bombing of Potter's Bar, Hertfordshire three years prior. Her name is Hermione Granger and she is 18 years old. She lives in London. Your father's name was Hank Granger who was married to a Monica Morison Granger."

Duo stared blankly at her as she read it out. "So what now."

"Why we call her, Maxwell." Lady Une pulled her phone over and with a click of a few buttons the phone began ringing on speaker.

Duo shifted nervously as he watched the phone, its screen staying blanking indicating that the phone being called didn't have a video screen attachment.

A click was heard before a woman's voice with a rather British accent spoke up, "Hermione Granger speaking."

"Miss Granger?" Lady Une started, somewhat startled at the greeting.

"Yes."

Shaking her head, the Head of Preventers pushed forward. "I am calling from the Preventers."

"Ye-" A loud crash could be heard through the phone before they could hear Hermione shout, "Don't touch that! Ron stop Harry!" A bit of movement and the bang of a door was heard before the crashing and yelling faded into the background. "Yes, sorry about that. I'm at a friends house right now and one of them has gotten into the candy. You said you are from the Preventers? Is this about the blood tests?"

"Yes Miss Granger, a match has been found. Congratulations we have found a step brother named Duo Maxwell."

"Really!?! A... step brother? On my... which side? Oh well.. That is brilliant, is there anyway I can meet him?"

"Actually by the orders of the Family Restoration Act you are of legal age to take him in."

"Oh, really? I.. Of course I would lovely to take him in. How old is he?"

Lady Une sighed at the reminder of that issue. "he is four years of age Miss Granger."

"Oh... Well... when shall I come pick him up?"

"In a weeks time at noon at the central London Preventer's office. Thank you for doing this. Duo is most excited about meeting you. Till next Monday."

"Yes, Monday it is then." The phone clicked off.

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Duo bemoaned. "She hates me."

"She does not." Came the quick reassurance from Quatra.

"We made her think our dad was cheating on her mom the last year before they died." Bit back Duo. "He wasn't obviously but she can't know that I'm not really four!"

Everyone shifted uncomfortably before Lady Une interrupted as she read over the other two files. "Now for you two... Trowa you have a Aunt, Uncle, and two cousins still alive. Three of them live in Surry. The oldest are Mrs. Petunia Dursley age forty-five and Mr. Vernon Dursley age forty-eight. Their son Mr. Dudley Dursley has just moved out on his own. He is eighteen years old. Your other cousin is one Harry Potter who lives in London and is also age eighteen. You can go to any of them, since you are really twenty years old."

She turned to the next file as she let Trowa think it over. "Heero you have one relative he is Harry... Po..tter.... You two are related?" Lady Une fell silent as she looked more throughly over the files before her. "Oh I see. You are related through marriage. Heero your uncle married Trowa's Aunt and they had Harry. Both of his parents are dead. You all are first cousins though. So with that in mind we might be able to convince Mr. Potter to take you both in together. Sound good?"

The two boys looked at each other before nodding in agreement. It was best to stick together.

"YES that way we'e in the same city!" Crowed Duo as he jumped onto Heero. The ringing of a phone stilled the hyper active boy from doing anymore.

"Hermione Granger Speaking."

They all blinked at that. The five raised their brows at Lady Une as the woman quick apologized and hung up. "I swore I put in the right number." Trying again, Lady Une twitched as once again it was answered by Miss Granger. Instead of hanging up, the preventer head spoke up.

"Miss Granger I am calling for one Mr. Potter, is he there?"

A startled mutter of "Harry?" was heard before the young woman blew up towards someone.

"HARRY POTTER WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT MAKING ME YOUR SECRETARY!?!"

A quiet voice could be heard in the background. "What are you talking about? I gave up that lovely option weeks ago."

"It was only three days ago and you never said that you would stop. You will stop it now."

"I informed everyone at my offices about the change in number two days ago. Now if it is Mr. Weasley asking about window swipes I'm afraid I am unavailable."

"Harry."

"Yes?"

"There is someone on the phone for you who you didn't change the number for."

"Oh." A long pause was heard. "Why ever didn't you say so?"

A frustrated sigh was heard before some movement and then. "Harry Potter speaking on Miss Hermione Granger's phone."

Duo choked slightly.

Lady Une opened and closed her mouth a few seconds before getting a hold of herself and stating, "Mr. Potter I am calling from the Preventers we have found existing family that need a place to live till they are of age. Would it be acceptable for them to take up residence with you?"

"Alright."

"It would be most helpful and they are not very loud or messy or... Did just you agree?"

"Well yes. They need a place to stay and Luna and I only have the rumples running around the place right now. Really quite dull. Two midgets running round snooping into things that aren't theirs to know would be rather brilliantly fun."

"Oh, well they're four years old and that can be rather difficult. Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"You are only eighteen and have so much to do in your life."

"Lady Une," interrupted Quatra before she somehow convinced the man to not take both Heero and Trowa.

She blushed before getting back on track. "Well they are called Heero Yuy and Trowa Barton. You will pick them up at the same time as Miss Granger next Monday."

"Really. Thats nice. Monday at noon then."

"Yes." Agreed Une slowly.

"Grand."

The click of the phone gave Duo the right to speak up. "Your cousin is awesome and he knows my sister!"

AUAU

Harry Potter calmly walked back into the living room of Ron's new flat. "Well?" Asked Ron as he sat by Lavender.

"Everything is grand now. Do you have a car for Monday Mione?" The black haired man asked as he settled down besides Luna, handing Luna Hermione's mobile.

"My car is being used Monday Potter." sniffed Hermione as she turned slightly away from him.

"Oh."

"Hermione could I come with you Monday to pick up some midgets?"

Hermione stared back over at the green eyed man. "No."

"But Mione its in the same area."

"You'll scare my brother."

"I promise I won't." Green eyes went big.

"No."

Shoulders slumped as the man suddenly turned away from her.

After a few moments, Harry glanced over his shoulder revealing tear filled eyes to the group. Hermione twitched and Harry turned back to the wall. Another few minutes of Harry glancing back at Hermione with tear filled eyes broke the bushy haired woman's resolve.

"Fine."

The tears seemed to vanish immediately as Harry tackled Hermione with a squeal of joy, which also kept her from seeing the half pealed onion as it rolled underneath Ron's couch to the amusement of everyone else. Luna smiled as she petted Hermione's shivel covered mobile. Things were going to be so very interesting soon.

AUAU

So here is chapter 2. I apologize for the long wait and the rather short chapter. There is multiple reasons for it the most important is the fact that Peals of Thunder is not getting written no matter what I try and that is affecting my ability to write in general and then theres the fact that I am studying abroad till May. Of course all the nieces being born, weddings, and my doggy dieing hasn't helped.

I am going to be updating more often with this... though how often that ends up being before I get home is debatable.

Next chapter will be much more entertaining. ^_^ hehehe

Please Review.


	3. Chapter 3

Hello all. I can promise, sadly, that this isn't going to happen often but the combination of my procrastination, inspiration after months of frustration over writing in general, and all your lovely reviews has led to this update occurring sooner then expected.

Before the chapter begins I would like to offer something rather brilliant and to make this even more interesting. Who so ever guesses the correct end pairings for this story first will be given the chance to have me write a one shot that will be between 15000 and 30000 words about any fanfiction topic you would like, with some restrictions - this story is my first try at homosexual pairings so having me write my first sex scene or a more in-depth relationship in that manner will be rather difficult and probably terribly written, it will have to be on a story, world, movie etc. that I know enough about to write something good, but anyways the main details will be given to the actual winner-

That said I will give you all a clue per chapter till we reach the first chapter that reveals, in a solid manner, one of the final pairings – meanings it is bluntly stated like Harry telling Draco he loves him and Draco not running in fear or laughing his head off at that absurd notion.

Your first clue: There are going to be five pairings you need to guess. (oh by the way the clues might not be that helpful...they're true though!)

Chapter 3

Rashid nodded slowly to Lady Une. "Of course I will make sure the boys don't take anything dangerous with them to their relatives homes."

"Dangerous includes all their guns, knives, and the explosives in Duo's hair."

"I am well aware of that ma'am."

"Very good."

The two figures continued to the dormitories of a certain group of boys. "Their family's should be here in two hours. We have that amount of time to make sure they don't have anything dangerous or incriminating on themselves." Sighed Lady Une before pushing the door open. The boys were all quietly siting in the lounge area of the dorm they had been stuck in since being found shrunk in Paris. The bags for three of them lay innocently to the side of the room.

"Alright you three we're strip searching now." Smiled Lady Une as Rashid placed a firm hand on Duo's shoulder.

"The explosives are not allowed Master Duo."

Wide violet eyes shifted to puppy mode as the four year old gundam pilot answered. "I plead the fifth."

"No."

"Do you ever feel like you're talking to a puppy dog?" Countered Harry curiously.

Hermione ignored Harry's remarks as she tried to pull Luna off her car. "Luna stop humping the car! It will not make me want to take you with us."

"Uuuhhhggg... Heeeerrrmiooonnneeee..." Luna gasped as she shifted more on top of the beat up car. "You know you want meeee!"

Hermione felt her eye twitch as she tried to ignore Luna's less then appropriate noises.

"It does sound kinky." Remarked Harry, reminding Hermione that she had not one pain but two to take care of. "You know its the quiet library types that like the BSMD right Mione?"

"It's BDSM."

Both pains in her ass responded with a loud, drawn out. "Oooohhh."

"I am not like that!"

Harry smiled and winked as he answered with, "Sure you aren't love, sure you aren't."

"yes we'll keep it quiet for you dear." Smiled Luna as she continued to lay, hugging the old car.

Hermione ignored the itch to grab her wand. "There is only room for Harry, his midgets- Merlin forbid where he's getting those-, and my brother Luna. There are only five seats." Pointing at Luna then Harry she ordered. "Off. In. Now."

"Oh I didn't know you wanted it that way Hermione." Leered Harry, swaying his hips suggestively as he got into the front seat. The bushy haired woman firmly ignored the action as she got in herself.

"Is it act like a slut day?" Blurted out Hermione as she pulled out of the driveway. Luna waved crazily after them.

Harry raised an eyebrow. "I'm shocked Hermione. Shocked. Should I be warning your brother about snooping in your room now?"

"HARRY!"

"What? Dirty things hide in bedsheets. Its the worse place for hygiene."

"You're losing your touch Harry."

He pouted at her before suddenly turning wide eyed "Hermione. I never would have thought! That's what you do in the library all the time. You naughty naughty girl, you!"

Hermione tried to ignore her burning face as she sped up. She was never driving anywhere with him ever again.

Heero Yuy glared down at the laptop in his hands. It was a baby blue, miniature laptop that was apparently replacing his own. He turned his glare up to the offending woman. "No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

… Heero's glare vanished to be replaced with a perfectly blank expression. "I will not be going with this toy."

"Oh but you will Yuy." Snapped Lady Une. "Your other laptop is full of top secret information that you are in no position to protect."

"I don't need my laptop." Stated Heero slowly. "I am fine with a proper, fully functioning laptop with a dual Intel Core 17-720QM 1.60GHz processor, HP dv7 motherboard, 6GB DDR3 at 1066MHz memory, and 500GB Hard Drive. It is a perfectly good compromise."

"Thats great Heero. You get that."

Heero frowned at her as Duo ran past laughing manically in the background, a pip bomb in his outstretched hands. Rashid ran past after the insane four year old. "I know where you keep your porn." With that Heero turned sharply around and walked over to the lounge area.

Lady Une gaped after him, eyes huge.

"Lady Une you have porn?" The woman looked down into the wide, deceptively innocent face of a four year old Quatra.

"NO!"

"Oh." Quatra glanced over at Heero. "You will soon then."

The brunette woman went white before rushing over to Heero as he clicked away at his new laptop. "YUY IF I GET ONE EMAIL ABOUT PORN I WILL DESTROY YOUR LAPTOP FOR REAL!"

"I believe Heero might just hate you a little after this."

Quatra looked up at the taller, unibanged four year old. "Why ever would he hate little old me?"

Green eyes looked down into blue as a soft smile stretched across the boys face, "You were the one in charge of choosing the laptop for Heero since he wouldn't choose a realistic one."

Blue eyes crinkled into silent laughter. "Well it is a proper laptop if he was eight. Its weird for him to have one at all. We're four!"

"You still might want to destroy all email evidence of your involvement of the whole affair."

Hermione and Harry were shown into the meeting room a hour late by the time in the car.

"Harry why are you coming with me? Don't you have some midgets to go get?" Hissed Hermione as she took a seat at the table present in the room.

"I am getting them."

Hermione glared at the man who had caused her to be late by an hour. An Hour! Why had she let him read the directions? Why had she thought he could have been responsible for just this once!

The door opened again letting in a brunette woman. Hermione and Harry rose from their seats.

"I am so sorry for being late! Someone-" She glanced at Harry with a withering glare "-was having difficulties with the directions."

The brown haired woman blinked at her, startled. "You're not late. You are right on time, Miss Granger I presume."

Hermione gaped for a second before she turned and whacked Harry on the shoulder. "You Changed The Time!"

The young man pouted at her. "I didn't."

Hermione glared at him before blushing and turning back to the Preventer woman, "I'm so sorry, I am Hermione Granger and this idiot is Harry Potter."

"We've come for the midgets." Grinned the emerald eyed man.

Hermione seemed to almost snapped at the man but restrained herself and instead corrected Harry. "I am here to meet and take home Duo Maxwell, my stepbrother. He came along because apparently _He_ has a couple of midgets somewhere to collect."

"Miss Granger, Mr. Potter is here to meet and take home his two cousins."

"What!"

"Yup, those would be my midgets. And just so you know Luna was the one who changed to time. She woke up this morning knowing we'd be late because of the Narffles. I agreed so all the clocks have been changed ahead an hour. We'll have to change them back when we get home."

Hermione gapped at him. "How the hell did you change my clocks in MY home?"

Harry grinned widely and waved his hands out. "With Magic."

Lady Une couldn't stop the soft snort of amusement at that excuse.

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	4. Chapter 4

To continue the Clues: Clue #2 – One of the five pairings is a threesome.

Now Thank you all for reviews, I do usually reply to all but I got lost on who I had replied to and who I hadn't, sorry. I will have to say thanks to Serenity Moon2 for pointing out that Une is a Brunette not blond. I mix Une and Sally up a little too much. Also thanks to TimeAndRythmDoesIndeedSleep for taking a chance at the pairings. You get a hug and a one shot from me of your choice for being the first and only one to try. Also, this will stay rated T. If at any point any of you think I have step over that line, tell me where and how and I will change it so that everyone who is reading this now will always be able to read it.

Now on to the strange ass story this is turning out to be. Sorry, this isn't really all that funny but had to be done.

Chapter 4

Hermione glared over at her friend. Magic indeed! "I'm so sorry about him. Its usually best to ignore Harry." Lady Une just watched the bushy haired woman in amusement. "Could we see our relatives?"

"In a moment, Miss Granger. There are just a few informalities that need to be taken care of."

"She's Hermione Granger who works with the unspeakables down in the Ministery of Magic. I'm Harry Potter or also known as the Man-Who-Defeated-Voldieshorts. I own a number of companies, including the muggle medical one known as LIFT. She likes the shades of blue. I am rather parcel to green tones. My eyes are fabulous as someone told me the other day and I swear it wasn't because he wanted in my pants. I always wanted a duck. Hermione is a underrepresented genius. She was my secretary until recently so any other questions should be directed towards her. Oh and I have a pet owl so I'm afraid that if either of the midgets are allergic to owls I can't take them. Life long friends before long lost relatives as the saying goes, you know? Is there is anything else you would like to know?"

Lady Une's eyebrows rose higher and higher as Harry talked. Hermione simply faced palmed.

AUAU

The five gundam pilots stared through the one way window at the two British citizens that had just entered. None of them remarked about them. It was obvious to them all that Harry Potter and Hermione Granger were indeed related to some of the gundam pilots. Hermione and Duo had the same hair, though Duo actually knew how to manage it. They were about the same hight, even. Harry had Heero's hair, though it was black. In turn Trowa and him shared the same deep green eyes. The one thing that was odd was that Harry was rather short compared to the other two. The resemblance was clearly visible and that was what mattered in the end.

Between the blood test coming back positive and their physical appearance any arguments the former pilots had would be rather lacking. Duo looked over at Quatra. They would be able to handle this. The five had to go out on their own for months at a time. Most had been alone for most of their life and they would make sure to see each other. Parents like having "play dates", right?

Rashid stepped into the room. "Everything is set Master Quatra. Your mansion in London is being cleaned, the rooms for you and Master Wufei are nearly complete and I will step forward to greet and gain contact information from Mister Potter and Missus Granger. I will even see if it's possible to have a play date set within the week."

"Thank you Rashid." Smiled Quatra up at his tall friend, body guard, and, now, guardian. They would stay together as well as they could. The five turned back to the window in time for Lady Une to step in. The following conversation was far too strange for them to really remark upon it beyond Duo's stifled giggles at the excuse of magic.

"I can't tell if he was lieing or not during that entire speech." Heero said flatly with a scowl flickering across his face after listening to his cousin talk about a ministry of magic, some hyphened name, and his pet owl.

"Who said he was lying?" Countered Duo. The other four simply stared back at him. "Alright so maybe its weird that he's talking about magic without showing any signs of lying."

Quatra added quietly, "He also seems very content and happy. There is no anxiety or fear at meeting new relatives or anything like that."

"Well we already knew he was a odd one." Mutter Duo as he glanced back at the window. "We're odd too."

AUAU

"Your paperwork states as much Mister Potter. Which is why I need it properly filled out."

"YOU WROTE THAT IN THE PAPERWORK!" Cried Hermione in horror. "YOU IDIOT!"

"It asked for my information and the top clearly warned against liars." Countered Harry with a huff.

"Yes well they meant for you to write down real answers. You know the friendly version." Hissed Hermione.

"Friendly version?" Interrupted Lady Une, reminding Hermione of where she was.

"My secretary will answer any further questions. Thank you." Harry replied promptly.

"I'm NOT your secretary anymore. Get that through your head. I was NEVER your secretary. I did NOT agree to be your secretary and I don't NEED to answer any of your questions, DAMMIT!"

"Miss Granger I was asking you, not Mr. Potter." Sighed Lady Une.

"Oh." Hermione blushed brightly, "Umm, well you see the war affected–"

"I thought we aren't supposed to talk about the war." Interrupted Harry.

Hermione continued, Ignoring her friend. "It affected Harry somewhat oddly. He got hit in the head and ever since he has been... strange. He'll talk about magic like its real. He'll even give himself magical titles but the doctors say-"

"Healers, Hermione. They're called healers." Remarked Harry helpfully.

"Yes, healers say that its really rather harmless beyond claiming magic is real and naming things and talking about magical creatures and the like."

Lady Une raised a brow. "There isn't anything stating that within his file."

"Yes well Harry is a very rich man and this isn't something people need to know, you know?" Hermione Explained patently. "I'll be able to help Harry out too, not that he needs any. Harry is amazing with children. They love his magical stories."

Une said nothing, amusement coloring her face. She had a strong feeling that the children she was talking about weren't exactly like the children they were going to get. "Well I did a proper background check on you both, while the mental issue had not come up and both your medical files are rather lacking, you both appear perfectly fine to take on children. I do have a few questions though, if you don't mind me finally asking them?" Lady Une mental added, 'these children will more likely be taking care of him', her eyes glancing over at Mr. Potter. Of course the holes in their files would have had them investigated and illegible for children care but with the children being who they were, those holes would soon be properly filled anyways.

"Of course."

"It was found that you both went to a Hogwarts School for the Gifted from ages 11 to 17. Did you not graduate?"

"We did." Harry said with a smile. "It was a rather ruff year and all, what with Moldieshorts around but we managed. Hermione convinced Mimi to let me take the tests and everything."

"She would have let you take anyways, Harry." Sighed Hermione before turning to Lady Une. "We did graduate. Hogwarts students last year most often corresponds with the year they turn 17."

"You are not legal adults until 18, you cannot get proper jobs for a whole year after graduation."

"Hogwarts offers study abroad opportunities. They push us to travel during that year to expand our world views and understanding." Explained Hermione.

"When the hell did they start doing that?" Harry frowned over at Hermione.

The bushy haired woman rolled her eyes. "Harry, you were in the hospital for most of that year."

"Was that because of the hit on his head?" Asked Lady Une in interest.

Hermione blinked over at her, "Oh, yes. Most of it was to make sure he wasn't a threat to others and himself."

"It took a year to establish that?"

"Well, it was a rather terrible hit." Hermione frowned down at her hands, "Is there anything else you would like to know?"

"Yes, Mr. Potter and your address is the same on the paperwork. Do you both live at 12 Grimmauld Place in London?" Asked Lady Une as she glanced through the paperwork. "Does anyone else happen to live with you both?"

"Until recently we did. I still have a room and do stay there many days, though." Hermione explained, "With Harry taking on two children, I might have Duo and I stay with them for a while in a couple of days to help out."

"There are others that also sometimes stays with me." Added Harry. "Ron and his girlfriend stop by and spend the night sometimes. Luna is there most of the week. Every once in a while Cho, Fred, George, and others may stop by and stay a while. All our friends know they have a place to stay there and are always welcome. It livens up the place, though we could still use a few leprechauns around it."

"Harry we're not getting any leprechauns."

"How about some pixies?"

"No."

"Bu-"

"No."

"Ahem." Une interrupted. "You'll get to meet your relatives in a moment. I'll go get them."

Lady Une watched as the two British citizens immediately perked up. They were a odd pair, but one that would do some good for the pilots. "There is one thing, before I go collect them for you."

"Yes?"

"Well, they made friends with some of the other orphans, including each other. All five of them have become very close and the two other orphans will also be in the London area. Their guardian learned of this new friendship of theirs and he wanted to meet with you to see about possible play dates."

"Oh of course, that would be lovely!"

"Play date?" Muttered Harry in disgust. "No midgets have play dates!"

"Harry." Scowled Hermione in warning, "Children have play dates all the time. Its brilliant that they have friends already! I was so worried that Duo would have trouble making friends."

Lady Une smiled faintly. "I will tell their guardian and he'll come in after you meet your relatives to trade contact information."

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	5. Chapter 5

Thank you all for the reviews on the last chapter!

Chapter 5

Green stared hard into green. Hermione shifted. Duo pouted. Heero watched. Lady Une frowned at this odd union. Trowa just stared back. Harry sat back and nodded. "These are indeed my midgets. And they are not allergic to owls. Excellent."

Hermione's hand twitched, she would have hit Harry if she hadn't had her little, impressionable brother present. She had to set the right example. She wasn't going to be at fault for the hooligans Harry's "midgets" were going to become nor was her Duo going to be influenced by them. That reminded her, she needed to set the rules for Harry, Luna, and the twins behavior around the children. Even if Hermione wasn't in charge of Heero and Trowa's up bringing, she would do what she could to keep Harry from making them go too insane.

"Harry say hello to your cousins." Ordered Hermione before she walked over to Duo and knelt down in front of him. All the books she read this past week stated that she needed to put herself on equal grounds, at least until the child was used to the new life and home they were in. "Hello Duo, I'm your big sister. You can call me Hermione." Smiled Hermione, her voice shifting to a slight babying tone. "You don't have to worry about anything. I'm going to take care of you now."

With that Hermione gave Duo a tight hug. Because of that, she didn't see the horrified expression of what-the-fuckary that cross Duo's face. Everyone else did though. Harry grinned and gave two thumbs up before turning to her cousins. "What is your opinion of ducks?"

Heero stared blankly at his insane little cousin. He was not going to answer such a question. Trowa answered after a moment of silence. "They're very good swimmers?" Lady Une was biting her lip to keep herself from laughing in the background.

Harry blinked, "Was that a question because I'm not sure." He tapped his chin slightly before turning to Hermione, who was still squeezing the life out of Duo. "Hermes we are in need of a trip to Romania."

"What? No." Hermione stood with a scowl. "DO not ruin this moment with your craziness. And don't call me Hermes!"

"I was just-"

"No, No, NO. Harry just be quiet for once, act normal, and hug your cousins! We are going home after shopping for their things! We are not going to Romania. Why do you even want to go to Romania?"

Harry smiled widely, "Well to talk to Charlie of course. We were having a fascinating discussion about ducks when the question came up about if they were good swimmers or not. And since Hagrid, you know, died; I thought it would be best to ask Charlie."

"You could just look it up yourself or go to a zoo or something." Sighed Hermione as she pinched the bridge of her nose.

"That is an excellent idea! My good sirs we are going to the zoo!" Harry grinned widely over at the three four year old pilots. Hermione slammed her fist down onto Harry's head.

"Boys', only hit someone if they really, really deserve it." Explained Hermione as she flicked her finger at them in lecture mode. Harry clutched her head, crying in the background. Heero felt his eye twitch. His cousin was insane and weak. Either that or he needed to plan possible escape routes for Duo now. Duo was unlikely to think of planning for the inevitable attack on his person by his sister. She was rather violent.

Lady Une stepped forward. "They have all their clothing and such packed. The only thing that would be needed is beds to sleep in."

Hermione blinked, "Oh."

"We have those so that means we have time to go to the zoo. Or Diagon Alley. There's bound to be someone there that would have intimate information about ducks." Harry smiled happily at them. "Perhaps theres a duck animagus?"

Hermione sighed heavily. "There isn't."

"Oh."

AUAU

Harry skipped up to the door of 12 Grimmauld Place. Throwing the door open he waved bye to Hermione as she pulled away. Green eyes regard the two nearly silent four year olds. "Welcome home midgets. I will show you around."

Heero and Trowa scanned the streets for a moment before entering the residence of their cousin. Hopefully they weren't going to be here for long.

"Oh Harry you're back. Author's at the floo." Harry nodded before walking around the mare in the entry way. "Thanks Luna. I'll be right back."

Heero and Trowa could only stare, their eyes just ever so slightly wider than usual. The blond woman sitting causally on the black mare smiled dreamily down at them. "Hello. I'll show you around, shall I? I'm Luna Lovegood and this is Oreo." Luna patted the top of the horses head. "I'm horse siting today. Now come along." The young woman lightly nudged the horse to walking down the hall.

The two pilots glanced at each other, before both slowly inched over to their bags and opened their own respective hidden pouches. Pulling out rather dinky pistols and securing them to the back of their pants, the two boys cautiously trailed after the horse and its rider. Things were just getting stranger and stranger.

"Oh there you are, found what you were looking for? The shivels do love them, you must take good care of whatever it is." Smiled the woman. "This is the kitchen, Harry will make us dinner later or maybe Dobby will. The cook always alludes me for some reason. We're having spaghetti though. You both love it."

"Italian is good." Agreed Trowa slowly. "I'm sure we'll enjoy the meal."

Luna smiled. "I know you will. I told you, didn't I?"

"Why are you horse sitting in the house?" Heero finally asked frown critically at the blond.

She blinked at him, confusion appeared on her face. "Well where else would I horse sit? Its not like the weather is very good for horse sitting this time of the year." She nudged the horse, guiding it to the next room. "This is the living room for, you know, tea and pumpkin juice. Over there is the bathroom." Luna smiled over at the four year olds. "Lets go upstairs."

Both boys watched as the crazy woman guided the mare up the stairs. They looked at each other. It seemed that both their brother and this Luna girl needed professional help.

"I suppose Luna's been showing you around?" Looking over at their cousin both boys stiffened. There behind Harry was their bags. They were floating. "Are you both alright?" Neither replied, though Heero belatedly yanked his pistol out and pointed it at his cousin. What type of technology was he using? The lack of documentation and the fact that the pilots just happened to have relatives appear right after they had been deaged all added up to some larger conspiracy. A possible threat to the overall peace the pilots had been fighting for.

Harry tilted his head at the pistol his little cousin was holding before looking up at the stair, "Luna dear, I think its time that we had a conversation with Heero and Trowa."

"He pull his gun infested with shivel?" She looked down from her horse.

"Yes. I do believe so. Trowa didn't though."

"Well that was very thoughtful of him." A moment later she cam clattering down the stairs on the mare. "To the living room then."

"Indeed." Harry smiled over at the boys before flicking his hand over a the floating bags. They floated to the side of the stair, out of the way, and softly settled onto the floor. "Dobby should be bring us tea."

AUAU

Hermione smiled sweetly at her cute little brother over the table as they ate pizza. Her smile faded at the sight of his hair. That would have to be the first thing fixed. No boy she raised was going to walk around looking like a girl! But first it was almost bed time.

Standing Hermione carefully cleaned up from dinner as Duo vanished into the living room. A shiver went up her back in excitement. Hermione had been thinking about settling down lately. But Ron had gone to Lavender and Neville was apparently a homosexual. Hermione wasn't going to consider one of the Weasley twins either. But now that she had a little brother to take care of Hermione didn't need some idiot boy to start a family with. At least not now.

Finishing the dishes, Hermione wondered out to the living room. Her happy smile vanished when she didn't see her little brother. Where had he gone? The bushy haired woman moved to pull out her wand before stilling. No, she had decided it was best not to reveal magic to Duo. The likelihood of him having magic was slim and she didn't want to hurt his feelings years from now when he didn't get a invitation to Hogwarts. Her hand fell. She would just have to find him the old fashion way. Her mother had done it so how hard could it be?

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AN: I apologies for how short this is but I did warn you all about this not being one of my main stories. I point you to two marvellous stories if you like Harry Potter and Harry Potter/Firefly stories. A Black Comedy is amazing and Browncoat, Green Eyes is also brilliant. Both are by nonjon. They will give you some major laughs.

Thank you for reading, I will try to update quicker.


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